The First Step to Positive Transformation is Looking in the Mirror

The First Step to Positive Transformation is Looking in the Mirror

Positive Transformation


Positive transformation begins with introspection. Self-awareness is the key to personal growth and transformation. To achieve this, one must take the time to truly understand oneself, including strengths, weaknesses, values, beliefs, and behaviors. This self-awareness forms the foundation for personal growth, providing necessary insights to identify areas needing improvement or transformation.

Looking in the mirror symbolizes self-awareness and acceptance. It encourages individuals to embrace their true selves and avoid the temptation of pretending to be someone they are not. Authenticity is vital for genuine transformation, as it ensures that the changes one undergoes align with their core values and aspirations.

Taking responsibility is crucial for personal transformation. Self-awareness helps individuals take ownership of their lives, enabling them to make conscious choices that align with their goals and values. This article explores the importance of self-awareness and how looking in the mirror can be the first step toward positive transformation.

The Importance of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth. It involves understanding oneself, including one’s strengths, weaknesses, emotions, values, beliefs, and behaviors. Self-awareness helps individuals identify areas for improvement and transformation, enabling them to make conscious choices that align with their goals and values. Self-awareness also helps individuals build stronger relationships with others, as it enables them to understand and regulate their emotions, communicate more effectively, and empathize with others.

Self-awareness is essential for personal and professional development. It helps individuals identify their unique strengths and talents, enabling them to pursue careers and interests that align with their passions and aspirations. Self-awareness also helps individuals build stronger relationships with colleagues, clients, and customers, as it enables them to communicate more effectively and empathize with others.

Self-awareness is a lifelong process. It requires individuals to be honest with themselves, acknowledge their flaws and shortcomings, and commit to ongoing personal growth and development. Self-awareness also requires individuals to seek feedback from others, as it provides valuable insights into one’s blind spots and areas needing improvement.

Looking in the Mirror

Looking in the mirror is a powerful metaphor for self-awareness. It encourages individuals to look closely at themselves, literally and metaphorically, and embrace their true selves. Looking in the mirror involves accepting one’s strengths and weaknesses, acknowledging one’s flaws and imperfections, and committing to personal growth and development.

Looking in the mirror also involves being honest with oneself. It requires individuals to take ownership of their lives, including their choices, decisions, and behaviors. Looking in the mirror entails acknowledging one’s mistakes and shortcomings, learning from them, and committing to making positive changes in one’s life.

Looking in the mirror is also about authenticity. It involves being true to oneself, avoiding the temptation of pretending to be someone one is not. Authenticity is essential for personal growth and transformation, as it ensures that the changes one undergoes align with one’s core values and aspirations.

The First Step Towards Positive Transformation

Looking in the mirror is the first step toward positive transformation. It involves self-reflection, self-awareness, and self-acceptance. When individuals look in the mirror, they see themselves as they truly are, including their strengths, weaknesses, and imperfections. This self-awareness forms the foundation for personal growth, enabling individuals to identify areas needing improvement and transformation.

Looking in the mirror also involves taking responsibility for one’s life. It requires individuals to acknowledge that they are in control of their lives and that they have the power to make positive changes. When individuals take responsibility for their lives, they become empowered to make conscious choices that align with their goals and values.

Looking in the mirror is also about self-acceptance. It involves embracing oneself, flaws and all, and committing to personal growth and development. When individuals accept themselves, they become more confident, resilient, and self-assured, enabling them to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.

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Self-awareness is the key to personal growth and transformation. Looking in the mirror is a powerful metaphor for self-awareness, as it encourages individuals to embrace their true selves, avoid the temptation of pretending to be someone they are not, and commit to personal growth and development. When individuals look in the mirror, they see themselves as they truly are, including their strengths, weaknesses, and imperfections. This self-awareness forms the foundation for personal growth, enabling individuals to identify areas needing improvement and transformation, take responsibility for their lives, and achieve their goals.

Battling Procrastination ~ Jump-Start Your Day During Your Commute

Battling Procrastination How to Jump-Start Your Day During Your Commute; how you start your day will massively impact the outcome.

Battling Procrastination

Whether you drive to work, take the subway, or hop on a bus, there are many different things you can do to get things moving in your day.

Commutes often take up quite a bit of time, especially during rush hour. You may as well take full advantage of the time you have to ensure that your day is optimized for success.

There are many ways to jump-start your day while commuting to work. Here are some activities you can do while you travel to get a great start to your day:

  1. Listen to self-improvement audios. If you’re traveling to work in your car, invest in some good self-improvement CDs, audiobooks, or MP3 downloads.
  • As you travel, listen to these CDs, and learn how to unlock your potential, organize your day, prioritize, increase your self-esteem, or other key personal growth strategies.
  • iPods or MP3 players are perfect for those who carpool or ride a bus or subway to work.

  • Indulge yourself by listening to your favorite podcasts with your iPod, either entertainment, self-improvement, or business-oriented.
  • Plan your day. If you commute by way of a bus or subway, or even in a carpool, you can take advantage of the time by planning your day or detailing project plans.

  • Write down notes about your various projects, prioritize your daily tasks by creating a to-do list, or schedule meetings by using your laptop or phone.
  • Be wary of talking on your cell phone while commuting. Loud conversations can annoy other travelers and your reception might be spotty at times.
  • Take care of emails. Email is a common time trap during the day. If you have access to the internet during your commute, it may be an ideal time to check your email for any important information or to reply to those emails that have long been awaiting your response.

  • Taking care of administrative or simple email tasks on the way to work can help ease the load when you get to the office.
  • Organizing your inbox with filters and folders can make checking email a quick task. Set limits about checking email once you reach the office to assure you’re working most efficiently.
  • Relax with hobbies or learn new things. Use your commuting time to do something fun for yourself, such as studying a new language or learning about a topic that draws your interest. You can keep your mind sharp and discover new things by taking the time you have during your commute to experience something different.
  • What have you always wanted to do but never find the time for? Sit down with your favorite crossword puzzle or magazine or watch a favorite television show on your laptop or phone. Enjoy your time before work begins!
  • Eat breakfast. If you’re running out of the house to catch a train or bus, take a minute to grab a healthy breakfast to eat on your way to work. Many commuter stations have breakfast carts available so grab something to eat alongside your morning tea or coffee.
  • Not only will breakfast jumpstart your metabolism but you’ll also have increased energy by the time you reach the office.

These are just a few different ways to jump-start your day during your morning commute. While you may only have a limited amount of time in the morning, you can really make the best of it!

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8 Tips for Overcoming Procrastination

  1. Forgive yourself for procrastinating in the past. …
  2. Commit to the task. …
  3. Promise yourself a reward. …
  4. Ask someone to check up on you. …
  5. Act as you go. …
  6. Rephrase your internal dialog. …
  7. Minimize distractions . …
  8. Aim to “eat an elephant beetle” first thing, every day!
Dr. Rick Wallace is a world-leading performance psychologist, life coach, and personal life strategist. He is also the founder of The Visionetics Institute. This power-packed course will help you break free from procrastination once and for all.
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Staying Motivated

Staying Motivated When You Just Don’t Feel Like Doing Anything

Staying Motivated

Staying motivated is not always easy. You’re bound to have moments in your life when you don’t even feel like getting out of bed. You lay there in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how miserable you are.

Those feelings might be some mild form of depression. It could also be an emotional drain caused by stress at work or in your personal life. It could be that you’re just not feeling motivated. Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that this moment does not define you.

So, if you’re feeling down, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means you’re human. It’s important not to go through your day feeling miserable. Instead, try escaping into a good book or watching a television show that makes you laugh. Take up a hobby that you’re passionate about and devote your time and energy to that.

You’ll soon find yourself feeling excited about life and ready to take on any challenges that come your way.

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So what else can you do when you don’t feel like doing anything? Try these strategies:

  1. Remember your why. It’s tempting to wallow in self-pity when you don’t feel like doing anything. But, if you remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing, you’ll have more incentive to keep going.
  • Perhaps you want to buy a piece of property, or you need to save more money for a big trip, or you’re in a job you hate. Whatever it is, your “why” will help to keep your mind focused on its most important goal.
  1. Take a shower. A shower doesn’t just make you feel clean. It also makes you feel refreshed and renewed. So, if you’re feeling down, take a quick shower. It’ll make you feel better, and it’ll be the first step in getting out of the funk. Better yet, take a cold shower. Cold showers make you more alert and reduce inflammation.
  • When you’re feeling low, a shower can make you feel better in just a few minutes.
  1. Just like a shower, try getting up to floss. Flossing, brushing your teeth, and rinsing your mouth with mouthwash doesn’t solve all your problems, but they can make you feel better.
  • The goal with flossing is it gives you the idea that at least you did one productive activity that day. The idea is to take steps to move you toward your daily goals.
  1. Chop it down into manageable tasks. When you’re feeling unmotivated, you have two options. You can curl up into a ball and give up, or you can force yourself to do something.
  • So, what is your big goal? It might be to save $10,000, go to Paris, or help someone in your family feel better. Write it down and break it into smaller goals.
  • For example, you might set a goal of 500 words per page or 30 minutes of exercise daily. Most people can stick with goals like these.
  • Breaking down tasks into manageable pieces is efficient because when you don’t feel like doing anything, you could feel intimidated by the sheer size of the goal. Breaking large tasks down makes it easier in your mind.
  1. Speak to your doctor. If nothing is helping, make an appointment with your healthcare provider. Lethargy can be a sign of clinical depression, and you may need professional help

It’s important not to let the little things get you down. Life can be difficult at times, but you can make it a little bit better by changing your attitude. Don’t just think about putting one foot in front of the other; think about what else you can do. You’ll be glad you did!

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Healing Emotional & Psychological Trauma

Healing Emotional & Psychological Trauma: What Is It and How To Heal?

Courtesy of The Sunshine Clinic
Healing Emotional & Psychological Trauma

Healing Emotional & Psychological Trauma ~ Our memories make us feel certain emotions. Some memories are positive, and others may be negative. When we remember them, we either feel good or bad. If we focus on them, they can make us smile or make us cry. However, some memories affect us more seriously without our intentional focus. Severe memories that are hard to let go of may cause emotional and psychological trauma. Bad experiences, negative emotions, or the deep pain of an unforgettable moment that lingers can sometimes affect us in what feels like an irreversible way. This is where trauma enters. Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. Those traumatic experiences in our lives are unchangeable, and they may affect us or keep affecting us in the future. Although we cannot undo the past, we can heal from them and know that healing is still possible.

What is Emotional and Psychological Trauma?

Emotional and psychological trauma is the result of extraordinarily frightening or distressful events that shatter your sense of security or make you feel helpless and can lead to challenges in functioning or normally coping afterward. In these cases, those memories repeatedly replay, and a traumatized person will have trouble controlling them. The side effects can include anxiety, feeling numb, disconnected, and severe trust issues towards other people. Traumatic events are not always personal physical experiences. Any experience that causes you to feel intense negative emotions can be traumatic – such as witnessing, watching, or hearing something. Deciding whether something is traumatic or not is not based on each person’s subjective emotional reaction to the event. The depth of trauma relates to the intensity of negative emotions felt about the experience. In other words, the same experience could have different effects on different people. For you, it might be traumatic, but not for others. Some causes of emotional and psychological trauma:

  • Unexpected events like an accident, injury, or a violent attack
  • Natural disasters
  • Domestic violence, emotional or physical abuse, bullying, or childhood neglect
  • Continuous threats like living in a crime-ridden neighborhood or battling a life-threatening disease

Commonly overlooked causes include:

  • Surgery – particularly in the first three years of life
  • The sudden death of a loved one
  • Severed relationships that a person has a deep emotional investment
  • Humiliating or seriously disappointing experiences, most notably involving someone’s deliberate cruelty

Primary involvement in an event is not necessary for trauma to occur. For example, it is highly unlikely that any of us will ever be the direct victims of a terrorist attack or a plane crash. Still, exposure to awful images on such victims’ social media and news channels can create traumatic stress and overwhelm the nervous system. But the good news is, you can make healing changes and move on with life, whether the trauma happened years ago or yesterday, regardless of the cause.

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Childhood Trauma

Lifelong insecurities are often the result of childhood trauma and are commonly due to:

  • Abuse: Sexual, physical, or emotional
  • Domestic violence
  • Intrusive medical procedures
  • Household dysfunction, unstable or unsafe environment
  • Separation from a parent
  • Serious illness
  • Neglect

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Childhood experiences and interactions significantly influence the architecture of developing brains. Early experiences affect the way we view ourselves and our environment, how we learn or cope with life’s challenges, and the relationships we form as adults. Positive childhood experiences contribute to healthy and productive adulthood. In contrast, negative experiences can lead to poorer mental and physical health as adults. Read more about the effects of childhood trauma here. Professional guidance from a behavioral health provider can help you find tools to overcome trust issues, make meaningful connections to others again, and regain your sense of emotional balance.

Symptoms of Emotional Trauma

In observing and reviewing responses to trauma, it is important to remember that they are NORMAL reactions to ABNORMAL events. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel or react to these situations. We all think differently and have different perspectives, conditioning, and physical and emotional reactions. Emotional & psychological symptoms:

  • Shock, denial, or disbelief
  • Confusion, difficulty concentrating
  • Anger, irritability, mood swings
  • Anxiety and fear
  • Guilt, shame, self-blame
  • Withdrawing from others
  • Feeling sad or hopeless
  • Feeling disconnected or numb

Physical symptoms:

  • Insomnia or nightmares
  • Fatigue
  • Being startled easily
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Racing heartbeat
  • Edginess and agitation
  • Aches and pains
  • Muscle tension

Ways to Heal from Emotional Trauma

Healing from psychological and emotional trauma is an individual experience. What works for one person may not for another. Below are options that may help you move towards healing, but the path is certainly not the same for everyone. If you feel lost or overwhelmed by an experience, professional guidance from a behavioral health provider may help you find your way.

Movement and Exercise

As trauma disrupts your body’s natural equilibrium, exercise and movement can help repair your nervous system. Exercising for half an hour or more helps improve physical and emotional well-being. It does not have to be all at once either. A few 10-minute exercise sessions throughout the day are just as good. Rhythmic exercises that involve both your arms and legs are the best. Add a mindfulness element by focusing on your body movements while doing exercises such as rock climbing, boxing, weight training, martial arts, or yoga. This is a great way to divert your attention from negative thoughts. Focus on your body, how it feels as you move, notice the rhythm of your breath, and feel the ground on your feet or the wind on your skin. Being intently aware of these sensations grounds you at the moment and allows you to have a greater sense of fulfillment, creating mindfulness, peace, and calm while doing productive tasks.

Connect with Others

Making a connection is also a part of healing, so go ahead and take that lunch invitation or join hobby groups to give you new and different thoughts to focus on. A healthy “me-time” is okay, but too much may not be healthy as well. If speaking with friends or family makes you uncomfortable, try seeking the help of a behavioral health provider. This is a safe environment for you to share your feelings without judgment. Counselors can help you understand your thoughts and can also give you advice on having a better outlook. Participate in social activities. Try to pursue doing “normal” activities to divert your thoughts from traumatic memories and experiences. Reconnect with old friends and past significant relationships or make new friends. Socializing can help you feel better. Consider joining a club or taking a class to connect with people who share similar interests with you.

Ask for Support

Finding comfort with a behavioral health provider, spiritual adviser, or trusted family member can help you feel better. It is not always necessary to share details about your trauma, but we all need someone who will listen attentively without judging us. Join a support group for trauma survivors. Connecting with others who understand because they have been through the same thing can inspire you, help you feel you’re not alone, and aid in your recovery.


The benefits of helping others are a great way to reclaim your sense of power. Knowing that you are making other people’s lives easier in some way will give you a sense of fulfillment, lessen feelings of helplessness, and remind you of your strengths. Do not let your past hold you back from living the life you want or from reaching your goals. Allow friends, family, or behavioral health providers to help you get yourself back.

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Top 5 Strategies to Overcome Depression

Top 5 Strategies to Overcome Depression ~ Effective Methods for Battling Minor Episodes of Depression

5 Strategies to Overcome Depression

If you’ve ever mourned a profound loss or suffered from depression, you understand how overwhelming it can be. People of all ages, even children, can be depressed. Fortunately, there are ways to overcome your condition!

One component of depression is a sense of hopelessness or helplessness. When you actively pursue remedies to the situations that directly contribute to your depression, you will often be able to mitigate its impact. It is important to note that depression is not always situational. Many times depression can be the result of cognitive cascades or subconscious thoughts that slowly move to the surface. Other times, depression can be the result of a chemical imbalance that may have to be corrected medically. However, in most instances, minor bouts of depression can be disrupted by using the following strategies.

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Here are the top five strategies to overcome your depression and regain your life:

  1. Talk about it. If you find yourself unable to concentrate on anything, have lost your appetite, or are over-eating, try talking to a family member or trusted friend.
  • Because you’re depressed, you may not be able to get the help you need alone, so enlisting someone you trust is important.

  • Don’t feel embarrassed to talk about it. Chances are the people you confide in will know more about depression than you think.

    2. Seek professional help. Many people avoid this for what they feel are good reasons: “My insurance won’t cover it,” or, “I can’t afford it.” In today’s society, this is simply untrue.
  • Many insurance companies do offer compensation for depression treatment because it’s widely known as a serious medical condition. Plus, they aren’t allowed to release treatment information to your employer.

  • Even if you don’t have medical insurance, many mental health centers or hospitals offer treatment free or on a sliding scale based on your income so that it can be affordable. Seek out help for your depression – it’s the best thing you can do!

    3. Become involved. Some people who suffer from depression find that the more they help others, the more they help themselves.
  • For instance, a woman who was consumed with depression went to school and became a licensed therapist. Through her sessions with people, she was able to use her own depression experience to heal others.

  • Volunteer at a local center for seniors or abused families. Many people in these centers tend to be depressed and working with them can give you insight on how to make yourself feel better.

    4. Exercise. Surprisingly, exercise can help you feel better. The energy your body gets from yoga, walking, jogging, swimming, and fitness center exercise will help you immensely.
  • The endorphins released during exercise can bring relief from your depression and give you the motivation to fight it.

  • Enlist a friend if you don’t want to exercise alone.

    5. Get a pet. Animals of all sorts have been shown to help people with depression. Caring for a pet strengthens your ability to take on responsibilities. Plus, pets are joyful and can put a smile on your face!
  • Even if you have allergies, there are many breeds of cats and dogs that don’t produce allergens.

Using these tips can help you fight your depression, but the most important one is to seek professional help. A good therapist can suggest more techniques to help overcome your depression. Take these tips as suggestions and add your own creative spin to best suit your needs.

No advice can replace a full examination by your doctor. Depression comes in many forms and determining a plan of treatment for your individual needs is required.

If you’re concerned about medication and side effects, there are also many homeopathic remedies available today that you can discuss with your health professional. Make a list of your concerns and share them during the exam. This way you’ll be actively involved in choosing a treatment plan.

With a good treatment plan overseen by your doctor, some support to bolster your spirits, and true determination, you can overcome your depression!

Healing Emotional Trauma!

Everyone has been hurt in relationships. Few people have the capacity to let that pain go so they can move on with their lives without the past mudding their joy. Emotional hurt can extend into emotional trauma that can be paralyzing and unrelenting. This course will provide you with the tools necessary to regain your capacity for joy and happiness, as well as possess the strength to move on!

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10 Tips for Dealing With Anxiety

10 Tips for Dealing With Anxiety Without Medication

Dealing With Anxiety

Dealing with anxiety can seem overwhelming without a plan of action. In extreme situations, some people need to treat their anxiety with medication. But there are also other ways of dealing with anxiety that can be effective for most people. If left unaddressed, anxiety can become crippling, so it is imperative to confront your anxiety using efficacious methods with provable results.

Almost everyone has some anxiety, but few actively do anything to relieve our anxiety and stress. Learn how you can easily do things to help you avoid anxiety and its corresponding physiological responses and incorporate these strategies into your everyday routines.

Take these steps to feel more relaxed:

  1. Eat breakfast. Some studies show that a substantial breakfast with high protein and fat reduces the level of anxiety experienced throughout the day. If you are one of those who skips breakfast, it might make your anxiety worse.

  2. Eat well. Eating well means eating natural foods. Processed foods have a variety of chemicals and other artificial ingredients that affect many people in negative ways. Cleaning up your diet can profoundly impact anxiety for many people.

  3. Take a short walk. A short walk can be a great way to clear your head and shake off some nervous energy.

  4. Exercise daily. Daily exercise isn’t the easiest habit to instill but isn’t brutally challenging either. Exercise is an excellent way of managing anxiety without medication. An excellent anti-anxiety workout will leave you feeling like you put some work in but not exhaust you. How you get this exercise is entirely up to you.

  5. Focus on your environment. You can’t feel anxious if you’re not thinking about something that makes you anxious. You’re inside your head when you’re anxious. Focusing on the sights and sounds around you is one way to focus on something tangible rather than your thoughts.

  6. Notice your body’s feelings. Instead of focusing on how anxious you are, dispassionately notice the feelings you have in your body. Notice how your heart beats, your hands sweaty, and your stomach is nauseous.

    1. Pretend you’re a scientist and investigate all of the physical sensations you’re experiencing. Stick with them until they dissipate, taking less time than you think.

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  1. Breathe. Take some deep, relaxed breaths. Breathing in a controlled way will reign in your anxiety symptoms. It’s a great way to slow your heart rate and feel better overall. Even better is to focus on the sensation of the air moving in and out of your body, too.

  2. Sleep. Everyone feels frazzled if they don’t get enough sleep. Getting sufficient sleep regularly is essential if you regularly feel anxious. Your brain simply doesn’t function optimally if it doesn’t get the rest it needs.

  3. Address the issues in your life that create stress. Eliminate as many stressors as you can. Whether it’s an unreliable car, an obnoxious neighbor, a job you despise, or a big stain on your living room carpet. Stress is an additive. Those more minor stressors can add up.

  4. Talk to someone supportive. A supportive friend is a true blessing. Knowing that you’re not alone can significantly reduce the anxiety you feel.

If your anxiety is overwhelming, see your doctor. If your anxiety is manageable but making you unhappy, there are plenty of things you can try to bring your anxious events down to a more reasonable level.

Give some of the above ideas a try. You are sure to find something that helps significantly without the cost and potential side effects of a pill. You have nothing to lose — except some anxiety!

Rediscover the joy, happiness, and fulfillment of being whole through complete healing!

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7 Common Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship

7 Common Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship! Could you be in a toxic relationahip that is literally draining the life out of you?

Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship can suck the life right out of you. Some people have a long history of getting into toxic relationships and staying far too long.

What exactly is a toxic relationship? Here’s one explanation from the book Toxic People (1995) by Dr. Lillian Glass:

“A toxic relationship is any relationship between people who don’t support each other, where there’s conflict, and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”

Dr. Glass is acknowledged as the person who coined the phrase “toxic relationship; however, toxic relationships existed long before she wrote “Toxic People.” A toxic relationship is characterized by the constant presence of a draining force that consistently eats away at the peace, contentment, and joy of one of the parties in the relationship. Toxic people create toxic environments that destroy the vibrance of life and vitality of an individual. Toxicity is a force that will create a perpetual state of inanition. If you want to live your life at the height of your capacity to live, you must avoid toxic relationships at all costs.
Does any of these characteristics sound familiar to you?

Consider these commonalities found in toxic relationships:

  1. Controlling behavior

Toxic relationships often have an element of control. Does your partner always have to have everything their way?

  • Does he/she insist on going with you when you spend time with your friends?

    • Does he/he always need to be the center of attention?

    • Does he/she refuse to accept blame even when it’s obviously their fault?

    • Does your partner limit whom you’re allowed to see or when?

  1. Distrust

Demanding to know where you are and with whom is a prime example of mistrust. Are you really going to spend time with your mother? They might just drive by to see if you’re telling the truth.

  • Does your partner doubt everything you say? Is your word never good enough?

    • Does your partner track your location with a phone app?

    • Does your partner quiz you to try to catch you in a lie?

    • Do you have to justify yourself all of the time?

  1. Justifying your partner’s behavior

Do you have to explain away your partner’s behavior to your friends and family, even though you know deep down there’s no justification for the way your partner acts? Is your partner rude and disrespectful to you in front of your friends and family?

  1. Physical or verbal abuse

Any abuse is unacceptable. If your partner is abusing you in any way, respect yourself enough to leave the relationship. There are no justifications for abusive behavior, and abuse must never be tolerated.

  1. Passive-aggressive behavior

Does your partner forget to pick you up? Do they forget to water your plants while you are out of town? Do they keep shrinking your favorite clothes by over-drying them? Do you receive a lot of excuses from your partner in general?

  • Are you the one exhibiting passive-aggressive behavior?

  1. Lying

This needs little explanation. Does your partner lie to you? Do you find yourself telling lies just to keep the peace? Do you lie in order to avoid spending time with your partner? For example, do you tell your partner you have to help your mother, but you actually go sit at the bookstore for a few hours?

  1. There’s a relationship scorecard

Are you reminded on a regular basis about how you’re not pulling your own weight? Are past mistakes mentioned regularly?

  • Are you told you have to wash the dishes because your partner took out the trash? Are you told this even though you have a full schedule with work, and they are just watching TV?

Most people in toxic relationships know their relationships aren’t ideal, but they justify and rationalize their doubts away. Many of them would rather be in a poor relationship than no relationship at all. You will never consistently experience more than what you regularly tolerate. To be treated better, you must demand better of yourself and others who engage you. Settling is not a form of compromise; it is refusing to be your best by accepting less to avoid conflict and friction.

An emotionally healthy person views being alone as better than being in a negative relationship. A healthy relationship can be challenging to find, but it’s not an impossibility. People tend to attract people who are operating where they are operating. While you may feel you are in a good place and that you are whole and healthy, the energy you are emitting may tell an entirely different story.

If you’re in a toxic relationship, extract yourself from it or seek professional relationship counseling. You’ll be relieved to be moving on from the current relationship routines.

Suppose you are trying to heal from the emotional scars and trauma caused by a toxic relationship. In that case, I recommend you order or enroll in one of my Healing From Emotional Trauma courses.

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Healing From Emotional Trauma (Supported)

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Fix Your Mind! Stop Operating from a Broken Mindset!

Fix Your Mind! Stop Operating from a Broken Mindset! To Change Your Life, You Must Change Your Thinking.

Fix Your Mind!

Fix your mind and the rest will follow — so to speak. If you want to see different results and achieve things beyond what you have experienced in the past, you will have to change the way you think—you will have to change your mind. Now, this sounds simple enough on the surface, but why do so few accomplish it if it is so simple? The challenge is that the human mind is exponentially more complicated than most people imagine.

The decision to change because you are not happy with something usually originates in the conscious mind; however, the subconscious governs 96 percent of your behavior. So, how do you permutate your conscious desires into subconscious mental constructs executed through the subconscious mind? That is the million-dollar question.

Your subconscious mind is the culmination of years of experiences you interpret and categorize over time. The subconscious constantly consults these memories to form beliefs, make decisions, and govern habitual behavior. You are governed by the beliefs you hold at a subconscious level.

Your subconscious controls 96 percent of your life. That means that 96 percent of your life outcomes result from the redundancy of the present mindset. You cannot change your present reality without transforming your current perspective or way of thinking.

Your conscious mind controls about 3-4% percent of your reality, which is why you cannot will yourself into new results and outcomes. Belief, itself, is a construct, and like all other constructs, can be manipulated and changed through patterns of redundant engagement. I help my clients transform their limiting beliefs effectively and efficiently to produce lasting results.

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You are currently operating on the beliefs anchored by experience from your past. Your past becomes familiar as you relive it incessantly. The more you repeat the same thought driven by the same beliefs; your familiar past eventually becomes your predictable future. Most people live very predictable lives because they are operating out of a broken mindset connected to their familiar past.

By the time you reach age 35, 96 percent of who you are is a memorized set of behaviors, emotional reactions, hardwired attitudes, unconscious habits, beliefs, and perceptions that function like a computer program. Simply put, this hardwired computer system, on autopilot, guides your life.

See, our mindset is to us as water is to a fish — it is so ubiquitous it ceases to exist; it is as if we don’t even realize or recognize its presence. Yet, our mindset controls everything. Our inability to understand how our mindset controls us stops us from making the changes we must make to change our lives for the better. It prevents us from becoming who we desire to be. Your current belief system governs all aspects of your behavior, subsequently controlling your outcomes in life. This powerful reality is why positive thinking alone will not produce your desired results.

Our mindset reflects our belief system, which is so ever-present, so ingrained into the fabric of who we are and how we process and perceive data that we don’t even notice its influence. The subconscious mind produces more than 70,000 thoughts per day—most of which you are entirely unaware of on a conscious level. Yet, these thoughts are a part of who you are and influence your life.

To take your conscious desires and create the subconscious mindset necessary to make them a reality, you must learn to control and manage your analytical mind, which separates the conscious mind from the subconscious. The analytical mind consults the subconscious beliefs to determine if what the conscious mind wants is possible.

Transforming the subconscious mind begins with quieting the analytical mind, so it does not interrupt or intercept the new data you upload into the subconscious mind.

I teach my clients how to effectively manage their analytical minds to break free of old limiting beliefs to create new empowering beliefs.  

The good news is that no matter how deeply ingrained those old limiting beliefs may be, you can effectively extract and replace them with more empowering beliefs. When I work with my clients in a one-on-one capacity, I walk them through quieting the analytical mind and uploading new beliefs and ideas into the subconscious.

I understand that not everybody can work with me in a one-on-one capacity, so I created Crushing Limiting Beliefs — a comprehensive course designed to help you eliminate the beliefs that have been holding you back. You have everything you need to change your life forever. Change starts here! Change starts today!

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10 Tips to Successful New Year’s Resolutions!

10 Tips to Successful New Year’s Resolutions! The Top 10 Things You Should Do Immediately After Making a New Year’s Resolution

10 Tips to Successful New Year's Resolutions!

As many people do this time of year, the chances are that you’re planning to make a New Year’s Resolution. Or maybe you’ve already made one. For example, you might have vowed to start writing more or get fit.

If you follow me, you know I am not big on making New Year’s resolutions. I am about measured results with proven track records. Statistically speaking, more people fail at following through with their New Year’s resolutions than succeed. I believe in building momentum before you enter into a transition phase and definitely before landing flatfooted into a new phase of life. I help people create smooth and powerful transitions through my 30-Day Transformation Course (A highly intense course designed to establish productive habits in thought, actions, and general behavior). I also offer my Rapid-Change Breakthrough Course (A one-time explosive encounter that helps to shift your paradigms completely.)

Nevertheless, for those of you who are taking the resolution route, allow me to give you some insight into what needs to be done to improve your chances of success. Your desire for change is admirable, but sometimes it isn’t easy to keep resolutions from slipping through your fingers. Most people fail to meet their New Year’s resolution because they don’t have a plan.

If you want to complete your goal, it’s essential to consider a specific action plan carefully. It’s also crucial for your success that you write down when, where, and exactly how you intend to execute this plan to reach the finish line.

These tips can help you crush your New Year’s resolution:

  1. Pick one item at a time. Take your time and focus on your most important goal at the moment.

    1. It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you have many things to do simultaneously, so prioritize one goal. It is okay to be ambitious, but don’t force yourself into overload. Remember, you are creating habitual shifts in thoughts and behaviors that are diametrically opposed to your current mode of operation. The magnitude of the task requires a massive amount of energy and focus.

  2. Make your goal specific. You’re more likely to achieve your resolution if you know what it is. Identify specific behaviors and activities you will do to fulfill the dream, which can be as simple as reading more books or making time for exercise each day. Your goals cannot be ambiguous or nebulous.
  • Include a timeline for completion and the steps necessary to reach the goal. The greater the specificity, the higher the rate of success.
  1. Take your time to plan. Write down the steps toward the resolution and plan out how you’re going to get there.
  • Organization is vital: you might want to write down which days of the week are best for completing your goal, what time of day works best for you, and what tools will help you reach success.
  1. Start small. For example, if you want to read more books, you don’t have to start reading a novel right away. Start with one chapter at a time and keep track of how many pages and hours you read each day.
  • For example, if you want to walk 30 minutes each day, start by walking 5 minutes once a day and gradually build up over time. The important thing is to take consistent action.
  1. Avoid expecting too much too quickly. You might feel tempted to make a resolution that requires you to reach a certain level of physical fitness right away, but it’s a good idea to set healthy expectations. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious with your goals as long as you know how to make adjustments when you don’t hit your milestones in the timeframe you set.
  1. Publicize your resolution. Tell your goal to others close to you and ask them to keep you in check if they notice that you’re not sticking to the plan. Accountability is a massive component of consistent and long-term success.
  1. Get a partner to keep you accountable. Tell your partner that you’re making a plan to stick with your resolution and ask them to hold you responsible by checking in with you regularly.
  • For example, if you want to write more, ask them to help you schedule your writing time into your daily routine, and if you wish to exercise, get them to join you for some extra encouragement.
  1. Reward yourself. Rewards are an effective way to boost your morale. You might give yourself a little break once you’ve reached your resolution, or you can reward yourself with a small gift when you complete the first step in your goal. Also, acknowledge the minor progressions along the way. Celebrate the seemingly insignificant progress you make as you move toward your goal.
  1. Learn from your past New Year’s resolution failures. Perhaps you haven’t had the best luck with resolutions in the past (You are not alone). That’s an excellent opportunity to determine what went wrong and what you can do differently this time around.
  1. Express gratitude for completing tasks, even little ones. Appreciate all the little things along the way. If you reach a milestone in getting your resolution done, express how happy you are about that achievement.
  • Write down how much you enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and gratitude for doing something good for yourself.

Regardless of how difficult it is to make — and keep — a New Year’s resolution, you can accomplish it. Try to start the process before New Year’s Day. Build momentum as you move into the transition phase.

Remember to write down what you’d like to accomplish. Then, focus on a specific goal and achieve that one before going on to a new one.

With a plan in place and following these strategies, step by step, you’ll find that your New Year’s resolution isn’t so hard to stick with after all!

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8 Common Habits of Unproductive People

8 Common Habits of Unproductive People ~ Do you have any of these bad habits holding you back?

8 Common Habits of Unproductive People

Groups of people that have similar results have similar habits. Thin people have similar habits. Overweight people have similar habits. Productive people tend to have habits of thoughts and behaviors in common. Likewise, unsuccessful people have several patterns of behavior in common, too. If you’re struggling with your productivity, this article is for you.

While we’re all capable of doing some extraordinary things from time to time, it’s the things we do each and every day that have the most significant influence on our results in life. You simply need a different set of habits if you want to be more productive.

For your best results, avoid these habits of unsuccessful people:

  1. Failing to learn. People fail to become more productive if they fail to learn and develop. Try to be the best at what you do. Learn from each day. One of the ways I ensure that I go to bed a better person than the one who woke that morning is to find ways to ensure that I grow intentionally by learning something new. Additionally, learning new things triggers the brain and mind to expand its performance capacity.

    1. Read a book, research articles on the internet, or watch a video on productivity tips. You’ll likely learn something that will help you to be more productive. Even in reviewing old material, you will find something you missed the first time around.

    1. Productive people are constantly learning things that will allow them to be more productive and effective in their endeavors.

  2. Giving in to distractions. We have more distractions than ever before. There are a lot of distractions that are far more interesting than anything you need to do. If it does not add measurable value, stay away from it. You have 86,400 seconds in each day. How you use those seconds will literally determine your destinty.

    1. Focus on what you’re supposed to be doing.

    1. Remove as many distractions from the area as possible—decrease clutter in your workspace and your mind.

    1. Plan time to engage in your distractions. It’s easier to avoid distractions if you know that you can engage in them later. It is about prioritizing your day to ensure what matters most gets attention first.  

  1. A lack of emphasis on taking action. Unproductive people often like to plan and learn. Some people love the strategic side of things. However, these same people have a lot less interest in taking action. Planning has its place. Learning is great. Eventually, though, things have to get done if productivity is essential (and it is). You not only have to be active but proactive. Planning and strategizing mean absolutely nothing without practical and consistent application.

  2. Failing to make a plan for the day. Unproductive people often don’t know what to do. They don’t have a clear vision or strategy for moving through their day. So, they become mentally bogged down and become increasingly frustrated as the day progresses. Have a plan for the day, the week, or even just the next few hours. Make a plan and follow it until you’re done! Having a solid workable plan will reduce empty motion and wasted time.

  3. Majoring in minor things. Many productive people are quite busy and even look engaged to others. But, being busy and being productive isn’t the same thing.

    1. Focus on the most effective course of action.

    1. Avoid activities that don’t provide significant results for the amount of time required.

  1. Giving up. You can’t be productive if you give up too soon. Productivity is about what you do, how well you do it, how fast you do it, and how much time you spend doing it. You can’t get a lot done if you don’t put in the time. Finish the task at hand as quickly as possible at the highest possible quality level.

  2. Worrying. It’s okay to have concerns and then address those concerns. However, worrying is an unproductive habit. It wastes time and makes you less effective. Studies reveal that 40-60 percent of what we worry about never happens. Plus, worrying about things that you have no power to impact accomplishes nothing. If you can change it, focus on changing it and abandon the propensity to worry.

    1. Consider the positive things you’ve accomplished by worrying. Write them all down. How many did you identify? Not many, if any at all.

  3. Procrastination. You can’t get anything accomplished if you never even get started. Procrastination is a productivity killer. I often tell my clients that procrastination is the thief of time. I also believe that procrastination is a form of arrogance that is disrespectful to time—putting off things you can do today while postulating that tomorrow will offer the same opportunity to complete those tasks.

    1. If you must procrastinate, at least use the time to do something else that’s productive. Going for a run is a better way of procrastinating than eating a hot fudge sundae. I personally prefer getting the tasks done—no excuses!

We all have the same amount of time each day. The most productive people are also the most successful. If you have big goals and are effective in working toward those goals, you’re going to be a highly successful person.

Eliminate the habits that reduce your productivity, and you’ll be in the best position to start getting more things done. You’ll be surprised by how much you can accomplish!

I Want to help you breakthrough the barriers that are holding you back. Enroll in the Rapid-Change Breakthrough program and let’s make it happen.

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