Dare to be different! One of the saddest things that I witness on a regular basis is people attempting to fit in — trying their hardest to be like everyone else. There is a reason trying to be like everyone else seems so difficult and uncomfortable — you were not designed to be like anyone else on this planet. You are unique in some very important ways that determine your complete makeup as a person.
When you attempt to squeeze into a box that was not designed to hold your massive potential, you force your potential to go dormant and unactualized. You literally squeeze the vastness of your existence into something that is not designed to hold or support it. Dare to be different. Dare to live in the fullness of your design. Dare to become the fullest expression of your potential and purpose. Dare to step outside of the marginal expectations that others have placed on you to live in the effusiveness of your God-given capacity to elevate and become great.
Dare to Be Different!
Your voluminous potential is pregnant with awesome wonders and extraordinary accomplishments, but in order to birth these things, you must be willing to escape the proclivity to bend toward mediocrity for the sake of fitting in. There is nothing honorable about making yourself small in order to make others more comfortable in your presence. There is nothing befitting your purpose and potential about the complacency so common in a culture that is replete with mediocre performers who take solace in being average.
There is nothing respectable about being average. “Average” is a human default reality. If you simply wake up every day and do what everyone else is doing, you will definitely be average. Being average does not require any great effort of focus. It does not require focus and commitment. You can sleep in and be average. You can show up late to work and be average. You can whine and complain and be average, but if you want to experience achieving the level of phenomenal, then you better be prepared to get up earlier than everyone else. You better be prepared to raise your standards higher than others. You better be prepared to spend more alone time with yourself, as you will inherently separate yourself from the pack. Dare to be different.
The people that you look at and admire now are visible to you because they chose to be different. They stand out and tower among most people because they chose to do things differently. If you want to live a life that most people are not able to live, then you have to be willing to do things that most people are not willing to do — dare to be different. ~ Rick Wallace, Ph.D., Psy.D.
Redefining Your Self Concept & Centering In on Your Destiny will open an entirely new world up for you. When you learn how to control your thoughts, there is absolutely nothing in this world that you cannot achieve. Most people walk around their entire life living a life that has been defined by someone else’s opinion of them.
Often, when I work with certain clients at The Visionetics Institute, I literally have to help them redefine their self-concept — how they view themselves in relationship to the world around them. Far too many people live within the confines of boxes that others have placed them in — often responding to names, titles, monikers, and associations that are not conducive to achieving massive success.
If you are a person who consistently finds yourself wanted more but struggling to get past the limited and low expectations that consistently govern your life, then you need to redefine your self-concept, which will completely shift the manner in which you view the world around you.
Your mind is infinitely powerful in what it is able to create, but it is neutral in that capacity until you set the direction you will travel with the beliefs and expectations that you have for your life. If you want something more, if you want something different, then you are going to have to change how you see yourself, which will immediately impact what you think about yourself and the world around you. When effectively reconstruct your self-concept in a manner that explores your power to effectively impact and change the world around you, you will learn that you are never stuck in any given situation. You have the power within you to change it, no matter what it is.
Maybe you are a person that believes that your background is what is holding you back from achieving your dreams and pursuing your passions. You have bought into the idea that because you come from a state of poverty, or you never knew your father or mother, or you struggled with your grades in school that you are trapped in a life of mediocrity and substandard living. But, you could not be further from the truth.
Where you come from does not determine where you are going, you do that. The only thing that your origin has to do with your destiny is that it tells you how far you have to go in order to get there. Where you start in life simply establishes how far you have to go to get where it is you want to go.
When you set your mind that you are going somewhere and know within yourself that it is possible. That commitment, that personal decision to go all-in will literally move the universe to bend to your will. The universe will literally conspire on your behalf to bring you the things that you demand of it no matter how outrageous it may seem to others.
You are truly the author of your destiny and the master of your fate! ~ Rick Wallace, Ph.D., Psy.D.
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Generally speaking, every person is born with a natural desire to be successful. In fact, self-help and personal development experts will all confirm that the desire to be successful is rarely an issue when they are working with their clients. People simply have an innate yearning to do well in life, in all aspects of human existence. However, there are multitudinous influences that can hinder a person from achieving success at a high level for any sustained period of time. Some people struggle with fear; others struggle with procrastination, and others suffer with the lack of self-confidence.
Self-confidence is a principle component in the equation of success. There are a number of elements that facilitate the thrust upon a person’s life that will culminate in success; however, when self-confidence is lacking, any true progression along the continuum that leads to success is virtually impossible.
Fortunately, there are some steps that a person who suffers with the lack of self-confidence can take to develop sufficient confidence in themselves to drive them toward the achievement of those things that are important to them.
Because the terms “success” and “successful” are being used here as the primary goal for which self-confidence is to be applied, it is immensely important to offer a lucid definition of the terms. Because people have different value systems, paradigms and perspectives on life, success cannot be defined through the acquisition of things, the development of wealth or career achievement; therefore, success is best defined by way of concept or philosophy. In other words, the person who has determined what it is they want in life, and has begun the process of achieving it, should be considered successful. The person who is currently living in their own predetermine state of existence should be viewed as a success.
Regardless of what a person’s ultimate goal may be, self-confidence will be key.
Following are five of the most effective methods for helping a person improve their self-confidence.
Go for Quick Impact
Because the human mind is so complex, there is no one set pathway to self-confidence; however, there is one definite point of focus — the subconscious. Behavioral scientists are still learning and marveling at the power of the human subconscious. The average person will process anywhere between 40,000 and 50,000 thoughts throughout the course of a day. We also understand that as a person learns to manage their thought processes, they will actually develop the capacity to remap their neurological wiring. While it was once believed that an individual’s personality was locked in, it is now understood that by changing a person’s self-image or self-concept, the personality of the person can also be altered.
Because of the complexity of the human mind, there are multitudinous methodologies through which a person can effectively develop an adequate self-image — leading to stronger self-confidence. One way that this can be done is by taking what is known as quick-impact routes. For instance, if a person has realized any type of academic achievement, such as diplomas and certificates, quickly gazing at these documents can immediately remind the person that they have the capacity to take on challenges and overcome them. One of the first things that many personal development therapists will do is ensure that the person has all documented accomplishments in clear view, in a place in which they will be able to see them every day.
Another quick impact method is retrospective examination. When a person can revisit their past successes, it becomes a reminder of what they are capable of — efficaciously eliminating any anxiety or uncertainty that they may be struggling with at the current moment. Basically, any activity that has the capacity to introduce a person to their best self can help improve self-confidence.
Something that is amazing about humans is that they are wired to perceive the negative with little to no effort. It does not take any effort at all for a person to see the negative side of any life equation. It does not take much for doubt and fear to set in. Conversely, developing the capacity to see the possibilities in a given situation takes a substantial amount of effort. It also seems that the human mind tends to overemphasize the negative. Studies reveal that when a person is introduced to a negative idea about a particular thing, it will take a minimum of 17 positive ideas about the same topic to offset that one negative thought. For this reason, it is imperative to avoid negativity all-together.
Avoiding negativity includes everything up to the avoidance of negative people. Unfortunately, there are literally people who have such a negative view of life that they will make it their business to share that negativity with anyone within an earshot — whether their opinion has been solicited or not. Negativity is one of the most devastating forces moving against the development and sustainment of self-confidence. Eliminating negativity in every conceivable way will be of great benefit.
Push through the Difficulty
There are a number of certainties in life, one of which is that no person can circumvent the vicissitudes of life. There will be difficult moments, delays, disruptions and setbacks, it is simply a part of life. One problem that many people have is that they spend far too much time contemplating their struggles — subsequently creating a situation in which they begin to identify with the problem — giving the problem more power than they should. What they should do, instead, is make a conscious decision to push through the difficulty.
Life is not linear, while there are times that it seems like it, it is actually cyclical. No situation, regardless of its gravity comes to stay; it all comes to pass in time. With this in mind, the people who decide that they would rather invest their energy in fighting through the difficulty, instead of succumbing to it, will experience relief more quickly. They will also experience a boost in their self-confidence.
Take the Time to Relish Success
Sometimes the speed of life can be so fast that it can become easy to move through phases without taking the time to enjoy the victories that are experienced along the way. When people do this, they tend to take on a mindset that life is happening to them, rather than responding to them. When this specific mindset is regulating the thought processes, it can be easy for the person to develop a victim mentality; however, when a person stops and celebrates those victories, they are consistently reminded that they possess the capacity to overcome life’s obstacles when they apply themselves.
Be Patient with Oneself
There are times in which life can seem cruel and unforgiving. There are times when people feel like Murphy’s Law is in overdrive. The truth is that no one is perfect, and no matter how prepared an individual may be, there will be mistakes made. Temporary failure is a part of the process. It is immensely important that a person give themselves permission to be in “process” — meaning that they are still growing, learning and developing into what they will ultimately become.
Giving oneself permission to be in “process” requires a certain level of patience, which will help to resist the proclivity to feel guilty and shame about a poor performance or missed opportunity.
There is pragmatic and empirical evidence that a person’s self-image and self-esteem is most effectively developed through positive experience. What is interesting about this truth is that this experience can be either organic or synthetic. Basically, the human nervous system cannot distinguish between a real experience and an experience that is being vividly displayed in the imagination. So, if the person can be trained how to envision themselves winning, the results will be astronomically in favor of the subject. Envision greatness, then set your heart to have it, and it will be yours. ~ Rick Wallace, Ph.D., Psy.D.