On the Other Side of Fear

On the Other Side of Fear

On the Other Side of Fear

On the Other Side of Fear


As a behavioral and performance specialist, I make it a point to study and observe those who I consider to be at the top of their game — especially those who rose from meager beginnings. I have studied entrepreneurs, investors, athletes, actors, parents and more. One person that I have spent a lot of time observing and listening to is Will Smith. Because I experienced my teen years during the 1980s, my first memory of Will Smith is as the Fresh Prince alongside D.J. Jazzy Jeff. So, you can say that I have had the pleasure of observing Will evolve into the icon “living” (pun intended) that he has become.

One thing I once heard Will say is that he believes God placed everything in this life worth having on the other side of fear, and I agree with him. I would take it one step further. I believe that God placed every worthy experience and accomplishment on the other side of fear, pain, disappointment, frustration, delay, and every dark thing that tends to paralyze people. This paralyzed state is one of the leading causes of procrastination. If you want to experience all that life has for you, you must be willing to endure the process that always precedes the promise.

Get Outside of Your Comfort Zone

We live in a society that places great emphasis on comfort. People don’t like change, because change is uncomfortable; however, change is an absolute requisite for growth. We tend to go out of our way to circumvent the difficulty and struggle that is part of the process of growth that leads to greatness. The truth is that you will not begin to experience the extraordinary and phenomenal things that life has in store for you until your back is against the wall and you are forced to fight forward.

Look around you, and you will see a culture that is built to retreat at the first sign of trouble. People shun any sign of challenge and resistance. What is funny to me is the fact that no matter how much you attempt to avoid pain, struggle, difficulty, and problems, they inevitably find you. You cannot circumvent the vicissitudes of life; they will eventually stroll into your paradise. What you can do is be prepared for them. What you can do is engage them head-on. What you can do is develop a mindset of no surrender, no retreat.

You see, character and integrity cannot be developed within the confines of comfort. The development of character requires resistance and challenge. It requires that your back be pushed up against the wall. If you never develop character and integrity, you will never push through the difficult moments to experience the awesomeness on the other side of fear and pain.

Let those hard times motivate you to push harder, fight harder, and stand firmer. Make up in your mind that you will not bow down to the challenge in front of you. Become committed to your vision and dreams. You can dream all you want to, and you will never see those dreams realized until you become fully committed to them. When you are fully committed to your vision, you will not be deterred by hardships, delays, disappointment, frustration. When you become committed to your vision, you will only be satisfied by the sweet taste of victory and accomplishment. Your commitment will cause you to lose your tolerance for excuses and substandard performances.

Become a Part of the One Percent that Win Consistently

With over seven billion people on this planet, it is estimated that the vast amount of wealth and power is controlled by the top one percent. This reality can be observed on a  micro-level in almost any social setting. So, what is it about this one percent that makes them so unique? Were they born with something that everyone else was not? No. It is simple. The one percent of highly successful people in this world are simply willing to do the things that the other 99 percent of the people are not willing to do.

It is incredible that 99 percent of the people in this world absolutely refuse to do what it takes to fulfill their dreams. Let’s be clear about this. Your dreams assigned to you. The responsibility of bringing your vision and dreams to fruition is yours and yours alone. Yes, you will connect with people who play integral roles in your success, but their input will be in response to your own commitment to your goals.

It is not until you commit and take action that providence moves on your behalf. It is not until you accept the challenge of stepping out of your comfort zone that the universe begins to conspire with you to bring your dreams into the realm of reality.

Guard Your Circle

You are the average of the five to 10 people you spend the most time around. You will see this reflected in the amount of money you earn, the social arena you reside in, your lifestyle, and your relationships. I had an 11th grade English teacher who took an interest in me when I was a freshman. She, along with my coaches and journalism teacher, followed me throughout the entire time I was in high school. Any time that this teacher saw me hanging around a kid she thought was not a good influence, she would call me over and say, “son, be careful who you share your space with; association brings about assimilation.” What she was saying is that the more time you spend around someone, the more they impact your thinking and behavior.

Additionally, if you are around people who are negative, their negativity will impact your energy and the force in which you engage the challenges of life. You need to carefully select the people who you allow to perpetually exist in your periphery.

Those who know me will tell you that one of the quickest ways to get ejected from my circle is by using the phrase, “be realistic.” To tell someone to be realistic is a subtle way of urging them to throttle back on their desires and goals. It is a very imperceptible way of telling a person that they are reaching too far outside of the range of their capacity. The problem is that the only limitations that you have are the ones you accept in your mind. When I hear a person say be realistic, it means they are attempting to impose their limiting beliefs on me, and that is simply unacceptable.

Find like-minded people who are headed in the same direction as you. Find people who will encourage you while holding you accountable. You don’t want a “yes” person in your camp that will back you blindly. You want someone who believes in you who will challenge you and never use fear tactics to talk you in off of the ledge of phenomenal accomplishments.


Anything in this life worth having will be resting on the other side of fear. You can have anything that you set your mind to have. The very fact that you can conceive it in your mind is God’s evidence to you that it is possible. However, it will not come easy. It will not surrender to passive demands. Life will pay whatever price you demand of it, but your demands must be clear, certain, and unwavering. Additionally, your demands must be accompanied with unyielding action. You have to push inexorably through all of the resistance until you achieve the desired goal. Quitting is not an option for winners.

Execute discipline in your life. There are things that you will have to do to win. These are the things that most people are not doing. You have to be disciplined enough to do what needs to be done — even when you don’t feel like it. Some of the greatest accomplishments are realized in the moments following activity that extends beyond the feelings and emotions of the moment.

Stop focusing on the negative things that are surrounding you. The more you focus on something, the more power you give it. What you focus on is what you will feel and experience in your life. Focus on your target. Focus on your destiny, your goals, and your aspirations. Don’t worry about what you don’t have, but zero in on what you do have and work your way out to obtain all that is necessary. Remember, “process” always precedes “promise.” There can be no obtainment of the promise of your potential without there first being an endurance of the process that leads to its fulfillment. ~ Rick Wallace, Ph.D., Psy.D.


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To learn more about living life on the other side of fear, check out Dr. Wallace latest book, Critical Mass: The Phenomenon of Next-Level Living!


The Importance of a Positive Mental Attitude in Developing Good Health

The Importance of a Positive Mental Attitude in Developing Good Health


PMAThe rapid expansion of pragmatic and empirical evidence that supports the scientific theory of Psychosomatics is leading to an increasing number of healthcare experts confirming the massive impact that having a positive mental attitude has on the overall health of humans. Psychosomatics is the study of the manner in which the mind directly impacts the physical health of the body. For years, scientists and medical professionals have been aware of the power of a person’s mental mindset to impact their health. Now, the knowledge is becoming more widespread.

According to studies conducted by the Harvard School of Public Health, having an optimistic perspective concerning life in general resulted in the lowering of risk factors associated with heart disease in older men. Additionally, the University of Pittsburg revealed that a positive mental attitude in women reduced the risk of thickening carotid artery walls. There are literally thousands of articles in numerous popular medical, health and news journals that illuminate the power of a positive mental attitude to aid in improving the quality of life and physical health.

Reducing Stress Levels

One of the most destructive forces against human health is chronic stress. All humans experience some form of mental stress throughout the day; however, the vast majority of these encounters with stress is what is known as acute stress, which include things such as the frustration that is created by being cut off on the expressway, or delayed by traffic. Acute mental stress rarely has any negative impact on physical health due to the fact that it is short lived; however, chronic stress, such as worrying about a home foreclosure, divorce or job situation, places constant mental strain on the human thought process, and it is this type of stress that slowly attacks the human body.

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When a person experiences a certain stressful moment, the body releases a hormone called cortisol, which is designed to help manage the stress; however, cortisol that is present in the body for prolonged periods can prove to be toxic to the body. It can inhibit the function of the liver to regulate metabolic processes. Additionally, it can lead to other inflammatory reactions, such as hypertension and arterial diseases.

In addition to the negative health consequences of high and constant stress levels that are produced by a negative mental attitude, research reveals that individuals who tend to view life from a negative perspective tend to have greater difficulty managing adverse situations. Basically, having a positive outlook on life creates the ability to effectively engage the vicissitudes when they come.

Not only does having a positive mental attitude help to reduce stress levels, subsequently reducing cortisol levels, but it also promotes the creation of feel-good hormones, such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin. These hormones provide a sense of well-being that is essential to long-term good health.

Learning to Walk It Out

Developing a positive mindset requires the ability to encompass the entire gamut of life’s experiences in order to develop a lucid perspicacity of the process of life. When a person is able to survey their life with a panoramic view, they will be able to see that they have encountered multitudinous moments of adversity, but in almost every situation, they have overcome the adversity, and they have been better because of it. It is the development of the understanding of “process,” in and of itself that establishes the foundation on which a positive mindset can be developed. Everything that is achieved or acquired in life, is a part of a process.

I often teach my clients that their potential is a representation of the promise of their unique design; however, they must understand that in order to obtain the promise associated with their design and potential, they must first endure the process. There can be no obtainment of the promise, without there first being an endurance of the process. “Process” always precedes “promise.”

When people are able to see that the process does not destroy, but ushers in the promise, they are able to take on a positive mindset, even in the midst of difficult moments.

Not only does having a positive mental attitude support good health, but it is essential to developing the capacity to succeed in life. Success in life is not achieved by circumventing the struggles in life, but it is achieved by overcoming them.

Outcomes and Consequences

It is much easier to move through life when there is an understanding of the processes. When a person has an understanding of the processes of life they are not thrown off by the unexpected; they do not become frenetic and unglued when adversity strikes. They understand that life is a process and difficulty and adversity is simply the fertile soil in which the seeds of their faith and confidence are planted and cultivated. It is the understanding of the fact that every occurrence in life produces consequences, and though one may not be able to control many of the situations that occur in their life, they do have absolute and complete control over how they deal with them.

When a person realizes that it is not the situation in their life that dictates their future, but how they respond to that situation, they are able to develop a mindset of peace, because they have come to an understanding that they are the masters of their fate.

When people fail to develop this understanding and mindset, it leads to living life as a victim of circumstance — with all of life being a futile attempt at escaping moments of difficulty in search of comfort. Because comfort and peace are more of a state of mind than a situation or circumstance, these individuals never experience it at any significant level, even when there is no adversity present. They spend their quiet moments worrying about the next storm in their life.

Yes, a positive mental attitude has an immense impact on developing and sustaining good health, but it does so much more. It is the beginning of profiting in the game of life. Living life victoriously is about the ability to create peace in the midst of adversity, embracing the process in order to obtain the promise. ~ Dr. Rick Wallace, Ph.D.